We all make mistakes..... some worse then others
For those who may have read something else since Sunday, ignore it. What I wrote was in the heat of the moment, and I had not taken time to think about it or calm down or seen it rationally. The reason being, I'm a total idiot.
I also wrote some stupid, unkind and untrue things about two of the best mates a girl could have. Even though I had writen them, they are still prepared to give me a second chance, which I know I do not deserve. Having done what I did however, and seen the consequences of my actions, it has made me realise just how good friends they really are, and how much they really do care about me. I also realised how close I came to losing them, which would have been totally justifiable on their part and no more then I deserve after the way I treated them, and I am not going to make the same mistakes again. I can only say I'm truely sorry for hurting you guys, but I know that that does not make up for the way I behaved.
I guess I'm just not used to having friends who genuinley care about me, and aren't just my mates becasue we happen to be on the same course or something like that, and also friends that like me for who I am. The trouble is most of the time I struggle to accept who I am myself, so I always expect everyone else not to.
I know I've got a lot to learn about friendship and life in general, but I've learnt from my mistakes of the last few days and am going to move on, hopefully with all my mates in my life.
Finally - Fi and Helen I love you guys and don't deserve you, and couldn't have survived this year with out you.
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